Camden is 10

Your brother is 10 today and this year he will be at our house. He requested steak, Mac and Cheese and Baked Beans for dinner. He also asked that I make him a chocolate cake with blue icing. In addition to tonight's dinner he is having a family party combined with Mikaya on Sunday and a party with friends in a few weeks. I am running around like crazy trying to make sure everything is in order. I thought about decorations for the family party and I am working on the friends party but I did not think to decorate for tonight. At the store this morning they did not have any streamers and I went to two stores. Thankfully I have one birthday banner and I put that up to at least have something. You are completely fascinated by it and its shiny-ness.

Note: The only reason everything is on the counter is because our sink is leaking and nothing can be in the cabinet.

I feel like a total mess today as a stepmom. It is 1:00 and I just changed you into your clothes. You are attached to wearing jammies during the day and you don't want to take the tractor ones off. You would not eat anything for lunch but since I was trying to make a cake for Camden I let you have cookies. To top it off, I let you have milk in a bottle. I am failing on so many levels today. I hope you take a long nap today. Mommy needs to shower and get her heart rate down.

Play Group

Another mom I met at one of you classes this summer decided she wanted to try and get a few moms and their kids together to play on Tuesdays. Today was our first get together and I was a little nervous. I felt kind of strange because they all knew each other and they all go to church together. They know about each other's lives, their other kids and their husbands. I only know the mom that put it together. Anyway, my point is, I got to spend time watching you interact with other kids your age. People tell me all the time how "busy" you are and yes, you are a very strong willed child with me. I loved seeing you with other kids because you were SO polite. Instead of just taking a toy from another kid, you would say "please?" When they did not give it to you, you would walk over to me and tell me "but I said please!" The other kids were hitting and pushing each other. You were calmly asking them please and you said thank you when they did give you a toy. The other moms said they don't see any sign of you being difficult or being a typical two year old. I had to agree with them. When the other kids would fight, you just said, "Look at those boys! They are fighting!"

I am so proud of you and I really hope you continue to be a kind, sweet and caring little guy. I love you so much!

There I was, writing again. Not as much as I would like to but better than before. Then life gets in the way, you refuse to let me sit down and your mommy is exhausted. Time goes so fast and writing things down just gets pushed to the side. Thankfully I do type things into my phone so that one day, probably when you are in school full time, I will write it all on the computer or put it into your baby book.

So much has happened in the past almost two months since I posted on here. You turned 2 even though I begged you not to. You inform everyone who asks that you are 6. I am not sure why you have chosen 6, but you are insistent that 6 is how old you are.

You make me laugh every single day. I am in awe of how much you learn, how quickly you learn and just how large your vocabulary and personality are. As much as I hate that you are growing up, I do love being able to have a conversation with you. I love that you yell, "MOM! Let's sit together!" Or "MOM! Let's play toys together. I go get a tractor for ya!" I LOVE the excited dance you do when I come pick you up from school, when Nana/Papa come over or when you see something you have never seen before. I love how expressive you are and how you are finally kissing me on the lips. One day I reacted to your kiss with "I am so happy" and now every time you kiss me you say "I so happy!" You have also started saying "I SO excited!" As challenging as you can be, I love the little person you have become. It is so hard to discipline you because you are so darn cute. Everyone knows it, and they never fail to tell us how cute you are. This works in your favor, especially when you should be in trouble. You have only been put into "time out" two times in your life but usually once a day you tell me you are going to time out. You go and sit on the steps if we are home, or if we are out somewhere, you go stand against a wall. You inform me that you are in time out. It makes me laugh every time.

Last night you discovered that if you call for me, I will come in to see what is wrong. Yes, you have called Mommy before but only when you are crying. Last night you decided to call for me from your crib. I had put you to bed and a few minutes later, I hear "Mom! Mom!" I go in and you tell me that there is a fan on the roof. Nothing was bothering you. You just wanted to inform me of something.

Although you are incredibly attached to me, you are also fiercely independent at times. You tell us all the time that you are a "big boy" and that you "do it myself." You try and get into your car seat by yourself. The first time you tried, you were successful only because there were things on the floor that allowed you to climb up into your seat. Now you get very angry when I put you in your seat. You are no longer interested in plastic kid utensils. You tell us you need a "big boy spoon." You constantly tell me that you are peeing or pooping. You also tell me that you want to go on the potty. We take your diaper off, we sit on the potty and you tell me, "I put my penis down" then nothing. You sit for a second, say "I don't want to" and your diaper goes back on. Yesterday I got you your own little potty thinking it might be the thing that does the trick. You were SO excited:

Forgive me for including a naked photo, but I just have to show you that you decided since the potty had wheels, it must be driven. You proceeded to push the potty around the house. Maybe getting you a Lightning McQueen potty wasn't the best idea...

You are crying in your crib so it is time to go get you. More later. Hopefully. 

Your Last Day of Being One

It is hard to believe that two years ago today, I went about my day thinking I had a few more days to prepare for your arrival. Looking back, I realize you can never been prepared for a new baby, but I thought I had 3 nights left to go until your scheduled date of July 12th. You had other ideas and decided you wanted to come sooner. My water broke and we were headed to the hospital.

It feels like only a few months ago that you were born. Suddenly you turned one and tomorrow we will be celebrating your second birthday. I am having mixed emotions about this. I am sad the days of you snuggling on my chest like a little football are over, but I am loving seeing the person you are becoming. You have a HUGE personality and you do something every day that makes me laugh. You are so expressive, you have a huge vocabulary and I personally think you are ridiculously adorable. You make it known what you like and what you do not like and you are still extremely attached to me. I do love that you love me and I hope you always think I am as cool as you think I am now. As challenging as you are with your tantrums and your stubbornness, I want to bottle up this time and make it stand still. I love watching you see new things. On July 4th you saw fireworks for the first time. You kept saying, "OH WOWWWW! That's a big one! I like that!" When you opened your birthday presents at your family party you would say "I like that!" It was so stinkin' cute! We all got a great laugh out of watching you.

As you get older, I know you are learning and growing but I can't help but wonder if I am being the best parent I can be to you. You still have trouble walking and you still love your bottle. I can't wait to hear how the doctor yells at me next week at your two year check up.

I have so much I want to say to you and for some reason it is not coming out correctly on here. You are awake in your crib so I need to go get you. I love you so much!

Watch Hockey? Sully? Watch Hockey?

Here we were thinking we were introducing you to something you had not seen before....a TV in the car. You saw Monsters Inc. and ever since then you have become obsessed. I am not kidding. You can't say the main characters name "Mike Wasowski" so you say "Watch hockey?" When I say no you say, "I watch hockey in the car?" I say no and you ask "On TV?" I think you ask to watch it over 100 times a day and that is not an exaggeration. Last night you woke up screaming and in the middle of the tears you asked to watch Hockey. I don't know what to do about this. You love your bottle and Monsters Inc. Two things you should not be loving before the age of 2. I try my best not to give in to you but it IS the only way you sit still and it makes you SO happy. I am really worried about this. You smile and laugh. As you watch it you say "I watchin' Hockey." It brings you such happiness and it does allow me some time to get things done around the house but it is an addiction that I don't know how to break. You like to have tantrums about everything but this is one thing you tantrum over almost every day. What are we going to do about this?!

Month 23

How is it that you are 22 months old and I am trying to plan your 2nd birthday party? Wasn't I just feeling you have the hiccups in my belly? Time sure does fly. I know I say that all the time, but it does. Although I hate when you have your tantrums (which is quite often) I do love the age you are at now. You say full sentences and talk a ton. Your memory is amazing and I love asking you questions and having you answer. You have developed such a fun and expressive personality and we love it!

You are still obsessed with Monsters Inc. and you always ask to "watch hockey?" When I say no, you ask "Sully? Sully too?" (the other character in the movie). It is so cute. Daddy got you a Mike Wasowski and Sully doll and you sleep with them every night. You have also been bringing them down every morning and sitting with them on the couch:

As you can see, you are still on the bottle. I said I would have you off of it by the time you were 18 months. Well, that has not happened. I also give into you wanting to watch TV even though you are not supposed to. I do have to say that you only watch the baby channel (except for "hockey").  I am trying really hard not to give into your tantrums and you screaming for what you want. You have decided to suddenly crave chocolate milk when you had no interest in it before. You ask for it in the cutest way (chocolate meeaaalkk?) but I don't give in to you that often. I also swore I would never spank you but after you scream and kick every time I try and change your diaper, one day I patted you on the bottom. You cried and cried. I told you I love you and I am sorry I did that but you need to not throw a fit when you aren't getting your way. 

You have been waking up every night that Daddy is out of town. I swear he must think I lie about how you are when he is gone. You take great naps when he is home and you sleep all night. I did feel your teeth in the back and it feels like the top 2 year molars are starting to break through. I can't imagine that is comfortable. 

You talk a ton and you are still insanely attached to me. Your teacher at your Giggle Time class told me it is time to let you be at "school" two days a week. She said you are ready and you will be fine. It kills me to think of leaving you somewhere but you need it and so do I. I have yet to make the call but I need to. 

You are still full of energy and you are so silly. You are a little sponge and you repeat things and talk like a little man. The other day you said "best part of my day was pizza." You always want to see Nana and Papa and it is so funny how excited you get when they come through the door. 

Lately you have been asking to "go potty." You point to the bathroom too. Even when we are out at restaurants you ask to go and you point to the bathroom. Daddy and I tried putting you on the toilet last week:

Although the idea of it seemed cool, you were not having it. As soon as we put you down, you got in the tub and peed. Tonight you asked me to go potty a few times. You actually sat on the seat and held the handles but you did not pee. At least you are getting exposed to it! 

You are interested in everything you see. You ask This? when you don't know what something is. You LOVE books and always say, "I sit on your lap. You read book." You seem to know most of your colors and you like to "read" the books to me. 

I think I mentioned it before, but you will not let Daddy put you to bed. I have been putting you to bed and somehow you got into a LONG routine. You get your bath, we read stories and then you insist on changing the colors on your night light a million times. 

You want to touch the fan (no idea why you like that) and then you want me to kiss you through the rails on your crib at one end. After that, you say "this way" and kiss me through the rails on the front of your crib. Lately you have wanted a TON of animals in your bed and you have asked me to kiss all of them. I have been rubbing your back so you say "rub back?" I rub your back and then you have requested I rub the animals backs. As time consuming as this routine is, I try to remember you are only little once and I will miss these days. 

Oh, another side note: your hair was driving me nuts so we decided to shave it. You looked like a different kid:

BEFORE:

 AFTER:

You fell a few days before so that is why you have a mark on your nose. You look like a big boy!

I could write a lot more but I need to go to bed. I hope you sleep all night!

The Latest

You finished your antibiotics this past weekend and they did nothing for you. I called the doctor's office yesterday and after speaking to a nurse, they said they wanted to see you again. I had to wake you up from your nap (something I HATE doing) to go see a nurse. They said it was just a bad cold, you had some fluid behind your ears and your gums were swollen. I have been wondering if it could be your teeth since you are drooling a ton, are super cranky and you keep gnawing on your fingers. It feels like we have been waiting for the 2 year molars to come in for over a year. The nurse said to give you Motrin every 6 hours to see if it helped you. I did this today and you seemed SO much happier. You are talking in even bigger sentences and you have a LOT to say. You make me laugh.

Every night when I put you to bed, you go through your memory bank and spew off everything you can think of. Your memory is AMAZING. I love listening to you talk and I love when you want to snuggle, but man oh man you have a way of stalling and it is so hard to say no to you. You have gotten into a long routine before bed that is a little ridiculous but it is super cute. You have to turn your humidifier on, your heater on and you have to switch the color on your night light no less than 20 times. Tonight it was dark in your room, we were in the rocking chair and you told me I needed to read you another book. I said we had already read 3 books and it was time to go to sleep. You got off my lap, pulled more books off the shelf and went by your night light to "read" them. These past few days you have been looking at books, pointing to the words and saying ABC. You also have some pages memorized in certain books and it is really cute. You love a book called "Airport." It talks about the waiting room, planes going up in the air, etc. I love when you get to the page that says "Buckle your seat belts the flight attendant says." You say buckle belts. Here is a picture of you "reading" it. So sorry to interrupt you!

Today you pointed to Daddy's arm and said Tattoos! While we were upstairs you pointed to my arm and said what I thought was a bad word. You were trying to say freckles. I can't get over how smart you are and how many words you know.

On Friday you started a new class called "Giggle Time." Daddy came with us and you were SO excited when you saw all the things you could play with. You have a hard time listening and you really want to do your own thing. I hope this changes as you get older. I don't want another naughty little boy in our family! Mama's heart can't handle it. Nana surprised us by coming to the class too! Here are some pictures:

You are so lucky she lives so close and can spend so much time with her. You love her so much and she is crazy about you too! Last night you told me that you watched Nana drive away on the bench and she waved. You also adore your Papa. I love that you plug your nose when I change your diaper and you say "Papa says P.U." I also love that you want part of the vacuum to use as "Papa's cane."

I really hope the Motrin helps and that your teeth come in soon. I need my sweet, non cranky little boy to stick around. Today was a really good day so I hope that continues!

This is SO you!

I was sent this article and it made me laugh out loud. This is SO you right now.

Part II -- The Age Of Independence

1. When your parent(s) appear to be having a deep conversation with another adult, announce that you have to poop. If you are still in diapers, extra credit awarded for grunting and straining to make it appear like you are trying to pass a brick.

2. When being served a banana, if it breaks during the peeling process, REFUSE to eat it. Actually, make that the rule for anything that breaks before being served. Yes, even cookies.

3. When out to eat, stand up in the booth, then turn around and stare at the person eating behind you for so long it becomes creepy.

4. If someone tries to take something from you, make them sorry. Hold tight while flailing and screaming. If they manage to pry it out of your hands, channel the Incredible Hulk and explode on them.

5. Potty Training (a.k.a The Great Chocolate Caper)... should NOT be easy for anyone involved. Well, unless chocolate and sweet treats are not your thing. The harder you make it, the longer you will get rewarded for crapping in the potty.

6. MAKE A MESS! That is your mantra. Make the most of every opportunity to wreck the joint. Get creative. Go nuts. Think: Filthy Wild Mess. Make sure it's clear where you have been... Store your toys in the hall, in shoes, in the cat's/dog's bed, in the refrigerator, in the toilet, bathtub, front yard... anywhere but where your parents want them. 

7. When you pass gas, laugh hysterically and then in your loudest voice announce, "HA HA I JUST FARTED." Legend status achieved if four or more people are present.

8. Before you touch anything on your plate, demand the food off everyone else's first.

9. Shoes, clothes and vegetables are stupid. Avoid them.

10. DO NOT sleep in on the weekends. If the sun rises before you, then you have failed. If you do not see the tears in your parents' eyes when waking them up before dawn, then you have failed.

11. Life is one big game of tag. Everyone is "It." RUN FROM THEM! Use tables to play epic games of You Can't Catch Me by crawling under them and running around them.

12. When no one is looking, try something really naughty. Something like climbing on furniture, jumping on the bed, pulling a chair over to the counter to grab a knife, chasing the cat or dog. Something you are sure you will get yelled at for if caught. Live a little.

13. While out for walks, stop every six inches to poke, pick up, drop or kick something. Every dog in the neighborhood should be lapping you on walks. Even the German shepherd that stops every foot to mark its territory.

14. Repeat EVERY word you hear. Every. Single. One.

15. This is the only time of your life when you can say bad words in public and not get in trouble. Remember, they think you are trying to say truck, duck, chip, bridge and ship. GO WITH IT! Drop "truck" bombs all over the place!

16. Phones and tablets were put on this Earth for you. Seek them out. Always.

17. Act like a perfect little angel while in the care of others. Think all smiles through Pleases and Thank Yous and well-timed trips to the potty. It will keep your parents guessing and slightly annoyed.

18. The backseat of the car is your domain. Mark it by creating a sea of Goldfish crackers. Feed the Goldfish juice and crumbs whenever possible.

19. Before you play with your toys, play with everything else. Including, but not limited to, everything in the house that is repeatedly referred to as "not for you."

20. Last, and most important, to keep Toddler Legend Perfect Little Angel status... at least once a week, WOW your parents with your undeniable wit and charm. One week, bust out the ABCs or The Itsy Bitsy Spider. Then, the next week, count to 10. In between, announce observations about your surroundings using words they have never heard you say before. Also, give kisses, hugs and cheeky grins and/or say "I WUV you" -- the latter if you think they are on to you.

So Very Sick

My heart is breaking as I watch you and see how miserable you are. I had a feeling you were getting sick, but on Wednesday night you would sleep for 15 minutes, then wake up screaming. Of course Daddy was out of town. You had a 101 fever so I called the doctor on Thursday. They had an opening so I took you in. Your doctor was not sure if it was just a cold or something more. She said something was not sitting right with her. I agreed and said that is why I brought you in. She was hesitant to give you an antibiotic but she said she would call on Friday to see how you were.

On Friday a nurse called and I told her that you seemed to be getting worse. You still had a fever and you were lethargic. You were refusing to eat but thankfully you were still drinking. She talked to the doctor and they said they were going to call in an antibiotic. If you still have a fever tomorrow I have to take you in again.

Daddy picked up your medicine on Friday so your first dose was after your brothers got home from school. Daddy and I had a school event to go to and I felt awful leaving you. This is how you looked before we left last night:

You were so unhappy. I thought about staying home. I did not want to expose Nana and Papa to your sickness. I hope no one catches whatever it is that you might have. You woke up this morning, ate some yogurt (first food in a few days) and had your milk. You seemed to be getting back to your old self. Around 11 it was as if you remembered you were sick. You were clingy and felt warm so I gave you some medicine. It was funny because after I give you something today, you have been saying "thanks." Usually you say "thank you" but today it is just "thanks."

I love watching you do and learn new things. You make me laugh. You have such a big personality and I wish I could record every second of your life. I love that you pick up the play phone, say "Hi Papa. How are you? I good. Love you. Bye." You also like to "call" Nana. I am so glad you love them so much! Your vocabulary seems to grow every day right along with you. I am having a very hard time knowing you are growing up. As challenging as you can be, I love this age. I feel like the first year was a blur. I was so busy trying to figure out how to be a mom that I feel I missed a lot of things. I do think I wrote down most things but I feel like a lot of my memories will have to come from pictures.

This morning you were in the kitchen and I asked you for a kiss. Usually you say no, or if you do say yes, you put your head forward and let me kiss that. Today you replied YES! then you ran to me, with your arms stretched out. You jumped into my arms and you put your head on my shoulder. I hope you always love me as much as you do now.

I love that you show empathy to others already. Yesterday you saw Torrin sitting down and you said "Torrin boo boo. I see it." I looked over and we could see that Torrin had a cut on his knee. You said "I get down. I kiss it?" Adorable. You also react when one of us is crying by getting visibly upset. On TV when you see something sad you put your arms out and ask "I hold it?" You are a sweet boy and I love you SO much!

21 Months

I know I say this all the time, but where is the time going? I can't believe you are 21 months old. I should say you are 1 and a half but I think saying you are 21 months is making me feel a little bit better.  As challenging as this mom thing is, I love seeing you learn new things and I adore hearing your sweet little voice.

You have been telling me everything you are doing. "Mama! Mom! I walking." "I runnin!" "I poopin." "I sittin." You are so dang cute, I can't even stand it. You love "swimming" in the tub and you REALLY loved it when we went to the pool a few weeks ago. When I was putting you to bed that night, you said, "I swim. I fast. It fun!"

You were confused why you could not go into the pool during "adult swim." Those were probably the longest 10 minutes of your life. You kept putting your foot in, looking around to see if it was ok. 

After you were in the pool, Daddy held you in the shower. You were unsure of the shower, but you did ok. You got so comfortable with it that you stood under the water and repeatedly peed, as you said "I peeing." I took pictures of that too, but I won't post them here :)

 After the pool we stopped at the store where the clerk gave you your first 'Blow Pop' which you referred to as Pop Art. You were in heaven. When I went to throw it away, you hugged it and said, "My pop art."

You are so much like your Daddy, especially when it comes to being outside. You always want to be outside and you throw a fit when it is time to go in. I had to put sunscreen on you this particular day. You were confused by this so I kept telling you it was lotion. You did really well, so I hope that you are ok with this throughout the summer. 

As I have mentioned before, you are extremely attached to me. As much as I love snuggling with you and how much you want to be around me, you need some outside entertainment. I decided to sign you up for a class called "Crocodile Rock" through our town. It is once a week for 4 weeks and so far we have gone twice.  You sort of do your own thing but for the most part, you listen to the teacher when it is time to get a toy/put a toy back. You are very excited to shake things like you are doing in this picture. 

Before we go, I talk about how we are going to class with some friends. As soon as we pull up to the building you yell "friends!" During today's class, a little girl accidentally hit you in the head with an instrument. You cried and screamed, then refused to do anything else for the rest of class. I take that back. You did sit in the parachute as all the parents spun the kids in a circle. You didn't know if you should laugh or cry but thankfully you made it through. At the end of class all the kids were invited under the parachute and they were having the best time, laughing, smiling and squealing. You wanted nothing to do with the parachute. At the end of class your teacher puts a stamp on each hand. You are fascinated with them!

You bring so much laughter and joy into our lives and I love you so much. I find myself worrying more and more about being a good parent to you. I want you to grow up (well not really grow up) to be a kind, caring and loving boy. I want you to be a good person that people like to be around. I want you to be a good friend and a good brother. I want you to be happy and to love life. I just hope I am doing the right things with you/for you. I often feel like I am failing as your mom. There are so many "shoulds" that come with life. For example, you "should" only be using sippy cups. I still give you the bottle. It comforts you, and I adore snuggling with you as you hold your bottle. You "should not" be watching any TV until you are 2. I let you watch the baby channel and you love it. I worry I am doing you harm but as long as you are happy and healthy, I think we will be ok.

You have been getting up every night crying, so I am headed off to bed. I hope you sleep all night. I love you little man.

I am a sucker!

You are only 20 months old and you already know how to get me to give in to you. Daddy usually puts you to bed but he has been traveling so I have been doing it as well. In the past when you were fussy, I would tell you we were going to snuggle. I would hold you in your chair, we would rock and I would sing you a song. Being that you are a parrot (repeating everything you hear) you have started asking me to rock you. When I go to put you in your crib you ask "We snuggle?" I give in because it is adorable how you say snuggle and I know you are not always going to be this attached to me. When I tell you it is time to go to your crib you ask me for a song. You have started saying "Tinkle Tinkle Star." So. Darn. Cute. Tonight you put the palm of your hand on my face and said "I love you." It melts my heart but man am I in trouble.

You have started screaming very loudly in public places. Tantrums are a regular occurrence and you get very mad when you don't get your way. When I tell you have to do something you often tell me, "Don't want to!" At Target we told you that you could walk but you had to hold our hand. You refused to do that for more than 2 seconds so we put you back in the cart. I never thought I would be THAT parent. The one who had a child who was having a major meltdown in a store. I am officially that parent.

We are still amazed at your vocabulary and all the funny things you say. Your memory of past events is amazing. Every single night you talk to me about the "axdent" (accident) that Nana and Papa had in their car at our house. You tell me Papa's car went boom, that it was stuck in the rocks, that the car got a boo boo, that Vinnie had to come "fix." It is amazing how much you remember.

Our kitchen is in the process of being remodeled and the first time you saw it with nothing in it you stopped, said ut oh and asked me "What happened?!" When your Daddy came back from his business trip you took him into the kitchen and you asked him "what happened?!"

You constantly call for your Nana and Papa. You adore them and they think you are pretty funny. You love Papa's cane. When he is not around you say, "Shhhhh, Papa is sleepin." You ask for Nana all the time and when you do see her, you get ridiculously excited. I love seeing you with them. I am glad you love them so much!

I Wasn't Finished….

You have a tendency to need something when I sit down to write this so I did not get to finish the last entry.

Lately you have started saying things are "too loud" and putting your hands over your ears. The hands over the ears are nothing new but you say "Too loud" and "Im scared" a lot. You used to love the vacuum but now you freak out and say Vacuum TOO LOUD. I feel bad for you!

Last night I sat with you before bed a little longer than I probably should have. You have been crying for me any time you go to bed and usually I don't give in, but last night I did. We sat in your chair and we snuggled for about 30 minutes. You kept talking to me, saying every word you could think of and you were trying so hard not to have to go to bed. I know you won't always want me as much as you do now so I sat with you and enjoyed every sweet moment of you wrapped in a blanket and saying "hold ya mama?"

You continue to amaze us every day with how smart you are and how it only takes you one time to learn most things. You keep bringing us books, telling us "read books" but then you take it from us and say "I do it." You opened the Goodnight Moon book the other day and you kept saying "Great green room telephone." I was amazed. I know you aren't actually reading it but the fact that your remember the first page is pretty impressive. 

You want me to play tractors with you so I suppose I need to listen. I love you so much!

20 Months

This morning as we were driving Camden and Torrin to school, you said "Bye brothers! See ya!" It made us all laugh. Then today I was cleaning and you grabbed the mop and said, "I help you Mama." I absolutely LOVE that you come up to me, put your arms up and say Hold Ya? Or Hold Mama? Very sweet.

Yesterday you were 20 months old. 19 Months did not sound too old, but 20 months sounds WAY too close to 2 years old. How is it possible that you have been in this world for 20 months? As trying as you can be (usually only to me) you make me laugh and I love you so much! You were in desperate need of a haircut and thankfully you allowed Nana to hold you while you got it cut yesterday. You were not too happy but at least having Nana there made it all better. Here are some before and after pics:

You are Hilarious!

You are turning into such a funny little guy! I love seeing what you say and do. It seems like every day you are talking more, learning new things and continuing to develop that big personality. Strangers comment on how smart you are and how big your vocabulary is for only being 19 months old. When people ask you questions, you understand and you respond to them. Sometimes I have to translate but overall they understand your response as well. 

Last night we went to dinner with Nana and Papa. As I mentioned before, you LOVE them. You get so excited when I tell you we are going to see them or when they walk in the door. Lately, you have been referring to me as "Dani" which is understandable because Camden and Torrin call me Dani. You heard Nana call Papa "John" and last night you wanted his attention so you kept screaming JOHN over and over. Nana and I found this to be pretty entertaining. Yesterday you said peek a boo for the first time. You have been playing peek a boo for a long time but last night at dinner you said it! You think some words are hysterical-like dune buggy and especially "boobies."

Lately you have been coming up to me, putting up your arms and saying "Hold ya Mama?" I pick you up, you put your head on my shoulder and pat my back. I love these little moments with you and I am hoping time slows down a little bit. You are growing up way too fast. 

The other morning you had your first bloody nose. I felt so bad for you. It was all over your face and on your blankies. I said Oh no! You are bleeding! All day long you would tell me, "I'm bleeding." You take in everything and you really love to repeat things. Also, it amazes me and those around you how you remember things. For example, a few days ago you would not nap for me and you were a challenge. I wound up crying and every day now you tell people "Mommy was crying." Anytime Mickey barks, you said, "Mickey barking. He sad." I also love that you are trying SO hard to count. Every time you try it is always 1, 2, 3, 5, 8, 10….then it starts all over again. 

The other day (March 3rd) you heard me making a phone call. The person on the phone asked my name and I said "Danielle Forrest." You kept walking around the house saying Danielle Forrest. I think I have mentioned this before, but I LOVE when you put your palms up, shrug your shoulders and ask WHAT HAPPENED?! You have been following it up with "I broke it." You dumped your entire bin of cars the other day, got up, walked around for a little bit, came back and saw all the toys on the floor. You looked at me, said "Ut Oh! What happened?!" 

You have to have two of everything. Especially blankies. You tell me you need two of them. You have also started doing things and saying "I help you!" I call you honey sometimes and you repeat it and say Oh honey! 

I think the best moment from this past week was on February 25th. I put you in your crib, said goodnight and that I loved you. You said Mama? I responded Yes? and then you said Love You. SO cute. 

Although you cause me to cry (only because I feel like I am completely failing as a parent) I love you so much. You make us all laugh and we just adore you. You are such a cute and smart little boy!!

The Things You Do

I only have a few minutes to write but I wanted to write down some things you have been doing lately. You are seriously entertaining (exhausting but entertaining) and you keep us all laughing. Because you had not been walking yet, you are still in physical therapy every Monday. Your therapist is Barbara and she keeps saying how sweet you are and that your "vocabulary is unbelievable." You do talk a lot and you say the funniest things. Here are some of the latest things you say and do:

• When we ask you where your brothers are you say "Camden, Torrin at school. With backpacks." 
• You constantly tell me that your teeth hurt. You say, "Mama, teeth hurt."
• Today when I asked you if you wanted more to eat you said, "No thank you!"
• You are always climbing on me and giving me hugs. I love that you put your head on my shoulder and pat my back. 
• At bedtime I ask you for a kiss. You tell me "this way" and go to the end of your crib. Sometimes you will give me your mouth to kiss but other times it is just your forehead. The other night I said kiss mommy's lips and for some reason you think a fist is lips. Now you make a fist and say Kiss Lips? 
• You were constantly saying Abu Dhabi. We finally figured out you mean BMW. Now you are starting to say Mmmmmm W. 
• Today you were in the big chair and I was in the kitchen. You peeked up above the cushion and said "I see you Mommy!"
• You sometimes say "I so happy!"
• You are a total parrot. You repeat everything we say. Today you said Oh Shoot and Oh Whoops! The other day you said sh*t after I said it. I need to watch my mouth! Nana taught you the word boobies and you think it is SO much fun to say!
• You are walking around a lot more. You think you are pretty darn cool!
• The other night Nana and Papa were over for dinner. We gave Papa his margarita and you said Booze! I try it! You always say "I try it" when you want to eat something or do something. 
• When you see a picture of something you like in a book, you lick the book. Your latest favorite is the picture of the ice cream truck. You see the ice cream and say I try it, then lick the book. 
• You are still obsessed with your Nana and Papa. As soon as we pull into our neighborhood you start calling for them.
• You LOVE tractors lately. You play with them and when you see them you say Ooooooohhhh Tractors!

You are screaming for me in your crib. I need to go get you! 

19 Months Old

You are 19 months old today. Time is going by SO fast (as always). You have such a big personality and you make us laugh. Just this past week you have really been showing your funny side to Daddy. He says you are turning into his little buddy. You keep putting words together to form sentences and it is hilarious. Yesterday you hugged your blanket and kept saying "I so happy." After putting a toy on your head you said, "Aww, I cute." After you took a few steps you stopped, clapped and said YAY! You are not lacking in self confidence. 

I also adore that you give me hugs more often. When I am really lucky you will kiss me. It is always a wide open mouth kiss but I will take it. I love your hugs. You put your head on my shoulder, then pat me on the back and say Awwww. As challenging as you are, I love this age. I just wish I had an ounce of your energy. 

Although we are not supposed to have you face forward in the car until you are 2, Daddy cleaned out the car and put your seat in facing forward. It is like a whole new world opened for you. You say Oh WOW and look outside. It makes us laugh. 

You are still not feeling well so we are headed to the doctor. You were supposed to have your weight checked anyway today so I called them and rescheduled it for 3 p.m. so we can get your ears and nose checked. It might just be your teeth or a cold but it has been over a week so I want to make sure. 

Funny Boy

Once again, you are sick as can be. I guess I should not be surprised since your Dad and brothers all had a cold last week. It was only a matter of time. You have a bad cough and I hope this passes quickly. You keep sneezing which is something you have never really done before. Tonight at dinner you got very mad at me for squirting saline in your nose:

I can't say I blame you. It is not fun but I need you to be able to breathe. I tried sucking the snot out of you but you screamed your little head off and refused to let me do it. I hope it comes out on its own and you don't have massive stuffiness. 

Although you are really sick, you were pretty good today. The past few days you have been much better behaved. You make me laugh all the time. Today you were Mr. Chatty putting words together. One time I asked you if you pooped. You looked at me, shook your head up and down and said, "Yes, I did. I pooped." Creating sentences is something new for you and today you said a lot of them. When I told you that you were being a good boy you said, "I'm good. I'm nice." You also found a tissue on the floor, informed me that it was "more trash" then took it over to the trash can and threw it away. Although you can be quite the challenge, you are so much fun. I love your personality and the person you have become. You get SO excited about the smallest things and I admire that about you. It does not surprise me because your Daddy is the same way. I just wish you did not get excited about things like dog food. You go into the laundry room, take pieces of it, put it in your mouth and then tell me it is Mickey's food and that "it's good. Mmmmmm." 

In other news, you took your first real steps on Saturday! Daddy told you to stand up and in the middle of the floor, you got up and walked to us and your brothers. You did this all weekend but you have had no interest since then. You started physical therapy on Monday. Your therapist's name is Barbara and she kept saying how adorable you are. I would have to agree. She noticed your feet roll inwards and that you have low muscle tone. We are not sure if it is because you were breech or because of genetics. We had to get you orthotics for your shoes and you are supposed to wear shoes all the time. We went to the mall last night and got you new shoes. You were trying to figure out how to walk in them but Daddy had to help you. SO cute!

You were far more interested in the balloon they gave you. Today you were excited when I told you I needed to get your shoes. You asked me, "new shoes?" then told me you wanted them on.

I may have said this before, but I should probably stop keeping track of the things you say. You talk all the time, and you are a little parrot. You repeat everything we say. I keep trying to write it all down but you do so many new things every day that I might need to give up that task.

I love you sweet boy. I hope you feel better soon!

Two Days in a Row

Wow! I am writing for the second time in two days. Just a quick post to document what you started doing last night and today. You say Ew when you see/feel something you do not like. Tonight in the bathtub some of the caulk was coming off the wall and you said EW. At dinner last night there was a hole in the table and you said EW.

Today felt incredibly long. After your nap I took you to the dollar store and as soon as we got in there you said "I'm done. Ride in car car." (Your way of telling me you are not into it at all!) I was going nuts  so I took you over to Nana and Papa's house and we played then had dinner. You are all about them and as soon as we got in the car to go home, you called their names over and over. I love that you say Nana Papa? Papa Nana? Nana Papa? After I repeatedly told you that they were at their house you started asking for the moon. In the short 3 mile drive I think you asked for the moon over 75 times-easily.

Daddy is still in California and you keep looking for him. I am hoping you sleep all night. Last night you were up three times. :(

18 Months

Sweet boy, I love you. I really love you but you exhaust me. I did not know I could go through so many emotions in a single day. I love going to get you in the morning. You are ridiculously excited to be awake. I wish I could channel some of that excitement when I wake up in the morning. I love watching you discover new things. You have a sense of wonder about everything. The littlest things make you so happy!

You are officially 18 months now and you are full of energy and temper tantrums. You love yelling NO and MINE. This is a new thing for you. You even hit me the other day and screamed NO at the top of your lungs because I took away the remote from you. I am not enjoying this temperamental side of you. When you don't get your way you throw yourself on the floor, kick and scream. This is oh so fun when we are out in public. I know I need to tell you no more often but I honestly don't have the energy to deal with it. When I do tell you no, you hide your face with your hands or you do the saddest boo lip that I have ever seen. It breaks my heart but you need to know I will not put up with you throwing food and getting so man when you don't get your way. Other times you are not affected by the word no. You look at me, saying No No and keep doing what you should not be doing. It is infuriating.

You are not a fan of naps and this is trying. You are exhausted. I have been trying to hold you off until 11:30 or 12 but you often ask to go night night around 9 a.m. Sometimes I have to put you in your crib because you are so emotional and wiped out. You sleep but this makes for a VERY long afternoon after you wake up. You keep me guessing everyday. At your 18 month check up your doctor said you are so smart! She also said you are very stubborn and strong willed.

As much as I love you, I need to get things done and sometimes be away from the house. I feel incredibly guilty about this. Your doctor, my doctor and other people have told me I need to put you in child care for at least one day a week. You have major separation anxiety when it comes to me. It is awful. You are not around other kids all that often and you need to be. Yes, you are around your brothers but you need to be around other children so you can learn to interact and play with others. I can't be your entire world and this is a hard realization. It makes me feel like a failure. I am a stay at home mom. This is my job. I should be able to handle it. My therapist (yes Mommy still goes to see a therapist when Nana is kind enough to watch you!) tells me to let go of the Mommy guilt-or at least try to. It will always be there. She told me if I take care of myself and let you interact with other kids, it will be better for everyone. It is not that I don't love you or that I don't love being home with you. I do. I adore you and I love our time together, but I am feeling a little lost. I get nothing done and the house is a constant mess. I have no time to do anything I would like to do. Granted, I should have known this before I became a mother. I did have some idea that it would take over my life, but maybe if you slept a little more Mommy could get a little bit of herself back :)  Or maybe just a shower. A shower where you are not climbing on to my counter finding every possible sharp object that I thought I had hidden.

You are the true definition of a boy. You are obsessed with tractors and "cop-tees" (helicopters) these past two weeks. I love that you are putting words together. These past few days you started answering "yeah" to questions. It makes us laugh! You also say Oh Cool! You are learning more and more every day!

You just woke up screaming. You are gnawing on your fingers so I wonder if your teeth hurt. Daddy thinks you get night terrors because you often scream in your sleep. I rocked you until you were calm and for the first time ever (that I have heard) you started to snore. It was the cutest little thing I think I have ever heard! Of course as soon as I put you back in your crib you screamed. I hate that :( Please sleep all night!

Really, where does the time go?

Several people have asked me if I still have my blog. Uh, I still have two links to the two blogs but have I written on here in almost 8 months-uh no. I am ashamed to admit that but with three boys, a husband, a crazy dog and life in general, things are pretty busy. I had lofty dreams of spending days writing on here about your crazy antics, the cute things you do and say and how quickly you are changing before my very eyes. Obviously that has not happened. Fortunately, I have over a million (I have not counted but I am sure it is close to that) pictures of you. I write down all the words you say (not actually write, but type them into my phone). Daddy asked when I was going to stop doing that but I can't seem to stop. I thought for sure I was going to be one of those moms who kept your baby book/scrapbook up to date. The mom who was going to have your room be super cute with awesome decorations. The mom who was able to shower every morning and not be in sweat pants. Granted, I have not been in sweat pants all that much, but yoga pants and I are best friends. I refer to them as leggings because if I call them yoga pants, I should probably be doing yoga while wearing them. I do not need one more thing to feel guilty about. Today at my doctors appointment I mentioned how busy things have been, how we recently moved and how there is so much to get done around the house. The doctor asked, "Oh, so you just moved?" Well, no. Not exactly. We moved in July. The basement is in shambles, I have piles of junk everywhere and it certainly does not feel like a home. I watch home improvement shows and drool over Pottery Barn catalogs wishing and hoping that some day our house will look like that. I am snapped out of that dream by you riding on your "Car car", banging into the kitchen table while saying BOOM and laughing. Another day, another dent in our table.

You are a few days away from being 18 months old. I was always annoyed with people who would say how old their child was in months after they had turned a year. I would think WHY don't they just say he/she is one? Now that I have a biological child of my own, I am starting to believe it is because as a parent, you realize just how fast time goes (although some days it seems painfully slow.) As a parent, you want your baby to be a baby as long as possible and perhaps saying how old you are in months makes me hold on to the idea that you are still a baby although you are referred to as a "toddler." Although I adore the person you are becoming, I do miss how little you were a year ago. Several people have told me that at every stage of your child's life you will think that is the BEST stage of their life….until you get to the next stage and you will think THAT is the best stage. Perhaps that is true. You make us laugh every day and for a little guy, you have a BIG personality. You have the funniest expressions and your pure excitement over the littlest things make us smile. For example, when we ask you if you want to take a bath. We do this EVERY. SINGLE. NIGHT. Every time it is like we just said you won 10 million dollars (not that that would mean anything to you). You get SO excited. You kick your feet, wave your arms, get a huge smile on your face and say Bath Time! Bath Time! You react this way to many things and I am so grateful for this. As you will soon learn, your mommy does not get excited about too many things (if anything at all). While I am thankful and feel incredibly blessed with everything in my life, excitement is not one of my personality traits. It drives Daddy crazy. I have been telling him that your excitement should cover both of us. I hope you never lose that trait.

So much has happened in the almost 8 months since I last wrote on this blog. We moved, you turned one and we had a big birthday party in our backyard for you. You were not too interested in having so many people look at you. As I said before, you say a lot of words. I think you are pretty smart and when I took you to the doctor two weeks ago, she mentioned how smart she thought you are. You do not walk yet and you love to sit with your legs in a W. This is not good for you so we have to see a specialist this month. I can't imagine you walking but I am sure it will happen soon enough. You are putting words together. On New Years Day I came into your room and you said Hi Mommy! You also say Up Please, No deer (when there are no deer outside), Ride in car car, get down, etc. You LOVE your brothers. When we took them to school yesterday and they got out of the car, you yelled Brothers?! Brothers?! When they are downstairs you stand at the gate and yell "Guys?!" Guuuuyyyyyssssss?"  You make everything you can hold into a phone and you always say "Hi Papa!" Every time the door bell rings or Mickey barks, you get so excited and yell NANA! I have to tell you it is not Nana and you look at me and ask "No Nana?!" I am glad you love them all so much. You have started whispering which we find funny. Normally whispering drives me crazy but you are so funny when you talk that way. You are obsessed with the moon. You think the reflection of the lights on the window is the moon and in the car you bang on the window and say moon, moon moon over and over. The one thing that we find hilarious (not the only thing) is you LOVE french fries. You call them bye byes. I should correct you but it is just too darn adorable. It has become a problem though because as soon as we get in the car you ask for "bye byes." When we get Daddy's dry cleaning, we go through the drive thru. You yell bye byes because you think we are at a fast food drive through. You get very mad when french fries are not given to you. You are stubborn like your parents. You are crazy like your brothers. You are so funny and simply adorable.

I hope this new year brings us lots of happy memories and good times with each other and our family. We all love you so much and since I can't stop time, I will try and enjoy every second with you-exhausting as it may be. I love you little man.